A small remark here, a slip of the tongue there, a seemingly innocent sentence, and suddenly, you’re in the middle of a very toxic net of verbal and emotional abuse on cyberspace. An opinion shared and the “cancel culture” is certainly upon us all and it is not a good thing. There you are, stuck right in the middle of a debate that you weren’t even thinking about, now focusing around you, and in the most extreme cases, it spills on to friends and family. Not to mention this is all very publicly done online, involving hundreds of spectators who have nothing to do with you. A setting for a typical scenario for those online arguments on a public forum what you once called your “group” and your “safe place.” Here, one is touching upon a very ugly topic called cyberbullying.
Most people do not log in; expecting or wanting to be engaged in a virtual fight or pile-up. They go there to connect to the rest of the world, for news, for recreation, to share moments of their lives and to enjoy their time. Online groups and forums make virtual mixing and meeting for people quite easy on different apps. The interaction by comments and friendly banter was supposed to be the fun part-without hurting any feelings. Unfortunately, many are finding out that they inevitably get embroiled in massive online lynchings as there is certainly a segment that does like a volatile debate. Virtual groups have been that incredible phenomenon that has been a lifesaver–a means of human connection and so much more. And the topic of cyberbullying is not a new one. However, during these challenging times, one finds with greater dismay that it certainly needs to be addressed again and again. The rampant increase of drawing-room politics, which were once limited literally to the drawing rooms of homes, now seem to be witnessed more and more very much online. From the youth to the media to every student, analyst, friend, family neighbour, aunt and uncle, everybody who has an opinion wants to be heard. However, with that opinion comes the darker side of things, which leads to cyberbullying.
If you are a frequenter on different platforms, the possibility of one getting into a skirmish with somebody out there who simply disagrees with them, for any kind of belief, is quite high. The block button is certainly there. However, one tries to keep it simple and ignore any jibes. Unfortunately, people have used the bait here of getting specific info to goad the other into a fight more often than not. And that has happened to the more unsuspecting, unaware. Some people are simply looking for a fight to ensure their dominance of the virtual space. More so now, when the advent of cabin fever-like symptoms brought on greater digital movement due to social distancing and because everybody was suddenly very “political” and had an opinion to share.
On casual observation, here are just a few of the things people have fought online about or made fun of others on: what to like or not to like on posts, the expression on emotions, popular catchphrases, family and family photos, personal businesses, friends, personal beliefs and yes, quite a bit of politics- basically ridiculing everything one can target. If it is posted online, somebody out there will be sure to police you on it. Another poignant factor is the usage of online groups and then the “takedown” of a person due to personal dislikes along with naming and shaming.
Everything from ganging up for hours on one person’s posts, leaking private conversations to emotional and physical threats and of course, the most extreme, which is a form of harassment and stalking. Luckily, for the more extreme cases, such as stalkers and cyber threats, we have cyber-crime officials here to report to.
Somehow, the space for cyberbullies has constricted the space for others. A fun place to be and interact socially has almost become a difficult place to “breathe.”
Online groups on forums such as Facebook have acted as what is commonly referred to as “safe spaces” run by admins with millions of followers. Other apps that have taken off quite well are Instagram and Twitter. Even WhatsApp chats and group chats have been incredible means of connecting people. Each of these apps is a wonderful platform. However, over time, a more underlying sinister culture has also emerged in parallel, by people unwilling to mix well with others in these forums. The right of the “queen bee” phenomena in the same groups, be it a male or female, leading the pack of followers/ friends to instigate divisive means of conversation all online and very public. Something, which had made being a part of a cyber-family as being estranged rather than enjoying the sense of togetherness, it was initially once originally constructed or purported to be.
Talking to Psychotherapist Pakeezah Baig led to quite an interesting discussion on bullying in general and cyberbullies. She stated that the stigma has had severe repercussion, not only on the individual (as was meant to be the stake of the bully) but also the society on the whole. Her viewpoint is that cyberbullying is much worse because it has taken away the reflection part before taking any action. Also, many a time, it is incognito and puts a space between the victims and bullies. The use of a proxy, such as sitting at home, physically away, even fake IDs has made it easier and faster. And it is assigning fuel to an already combustible society where tolerance is out and the blame game is the trend. Some bully as a way of asserting power or channeling their aggressive behaviour. She said, “As the contents of our consciousness are constantly being projected into our surroundings and it is only recognizing certain properties of the objects as projections or images that we can distinguish them from the real properties of the objects. The same is played when we are sharing our opinion especially onto social media where we have the security to hide behind the virtual wall.”
The culture of the present, even if it is a virtual space, is what we as a society set for ourselves. One must note the app should not be blamed rather those who utilise it; setting the precedent. Can we as responsible people put a stop to ensuing debates by simply having a separate private conversation by traditional means; away from other eyes, and away from other instigators who do not belong in the discussion between two parties? The tools we are given are one of great technology and connectivity; wonderful creations, but how humans use them in their hands is the matter to be considered with great caution and care.
